Click for a Content Warning!
LAST UPDATED: 04.14.2018
Dr. Jake Kilmore was a nuclear physicist previously involved in a secret government (US) program that even he couldn’t see either end of. His life on Earth was a long string of code words, science of destruction, and top secrecy; his work-life was a never-ending train of receiving written orders from above only to find that the instructions on How-To are classified. The facts are this: none. The suspicions and likelihoods are this: that secret nuclear project may have been a little less than “above-board.” Faced with jail time, Kilmore was persuaded to work on behalf of government ethics departments in incriminating his friends & colleagues. And since nobody likes a rat, he was then unceremoniously shipped off to [REDACTED] as an unseemly loose end.
Dr. Kilmore is your average workplace annoyance: goofy, very talkative, open-minded in an offensively touristy way, a cool buddy but a bad friend. He’s very smart but is also guileless, and while he can apparently wear a wire and play the puppet in plots & manipulations, he ain’t so hot at laying them out himself (or seeing them coming). He’s talented but, idk, do you really want him researching unimpeded here?
Dr. Kilmore is a good buddy, but be wary about him as a confidant. What's good for hanging out with, shootin' the shit, chewin' the fat, dissing the exes, etc. isn't necessarily good for... well... anything else. He's a pal but he's not your friend, and in fact if you're wondering about that you should maybe ask his other friends how they're doing--oh that's right! They disappeared following his yellow-bellied testimony against them. Kilmore's fun, don't get me wrong, and he makes for a good Friday night, for an enjoyable time, for wild & kooky experience trying new "exotic" foods or strange new games but-- he is, in many ways, a petulant boy who's still healthily afraid of so many darknesses. That said, if all you're looking for is a clown to past the time with, come on down! Just... careful about looking any deeper, OK? There are some horrors in there.
He’s had a few. Kilmore is bisexual but his romantic history is about 80% heterosexual, probably because of a lingering nostalgia for his first serious love, an older married woman--it didn’t work out. A few years after that affair crumbled, he tried to recapture his affections by marrying his own woman--that didn’t work out either. While he’s been engaged primarily with women, it is probably worthwhile to note that his couple of entanglements with men were largely healthier, fuller, more intimate relationships than others (but also had a ring of tourism to them). His navigation of genders and sexes suggests he believes in a chasm of understanding between two primary experiences, male & female (#patriarchy). He treats women well, and is especially respectful to women scientists, but we’d be lying if we didn’t say that (a) we thought he might be trying to recapture an object of his past too frequently and (b) any boy reverts hurtfully to boyhood in weaker moments. Also! He’s very monogamous and he hardly ever thinks of anyone even a little bit younger than him with anything but, I don’t know, what’s the feeling most associated with a pat on the head? Condescension, I think?
Very doable. Look at this man. You may not think of it to see his yoga act or to watch his Hawaiian-print ways (alt: to watch him enthuse about certain brands of bubble bath over others, or to hear him oooh and aaaah over the culinary sophistication of Darden chain restaurants), but there is a whole labyrinth of political atrocity likely curling in his wake. He's not the most malicious character I own, but he's the most destructive, not in small part due to field and career. He lacks a conscience, and too much of what he does requires that. He can stumble into enemies too as he's completely unable to see traps and ploys. Additionally, he's not above petty acts of spite (#childish) and will openly brag about taking his wife's name in their divorce and keeping it just to be difficult. Think of a boy. You're dealing with a very tall, very frustrated boy. He's been in a few unserious fistfights in his life (some of them here on [REDACTED]) and often just uses his size (big, tall, and partly metal) to protect him. Have at it.
☢ Cyber me up, captain! Slowly but surely, Kilmore is looking less and less "man," and more and more "machine." How long before all of him is traded for metal? Follow-up question: would that maybe be an improvement on the original?
We think maybe so, though we're nervous about giving him literally nothing else to lose.
☢ He's the "fun guy" in R&D. Expect themed work days
and other horrifically tyrannical tackiness and cheer. Before you say "no," know that he buys lunch for hat-wearers on hat day!
☢ Regularly teams up on SCIENCE! with biomechanic @Juno Guerrera
and bee-expert @Sylvia Cecil
. We hear electrical engineer @Samira Mahajan
hates his guts, but really we think that's just a rumor. Who could ever
☢ Who said anything about mutant wasps? We didn't say that, you said that! Direct all questions to @Sylvia Cecil
, we're just along for the weird ride.
☢ Kilmore's caused a radiation leak on [REDACTED] before, you may even still see double-daisy aftereffects,
so keep an eye on him! If you see anything hazardous you might want to think about reporting it to local safety bot @Debbie
☢ After irradiating him, has sort of taken @Raban Morgenstern
under his wing just a little bit, yanno, when he remembers. It's the least he can do after the quarantine.
☢ He loves food
and food-like items so if there's something gross you need taste-tested or just need to get rid of before it spoils, call Kilmore. He's like a black hole. He keeps up a strong friendship/adventureship with @Marco Galassi
because you keep your friends close and your chefs much, much closer.
☢ He also likes yoga, bubble baths, luxuries, costumes, new age & tarot, afternoon beers, board games, "exotic" food & experiences, attention (all eyes on the littlest brother), Roswell aliens, SCIENCE, cigarettes, lots
of cigarettes... He actually doesn't
like too many geeky things and, in fact, sort of loathes sci-fi (because I think that's funny) so please feel free to annoy him with your fandoms.
☢ Whatever soulmateship he and @Dean Wade
have going on, we want no part of it. That's way
too many novelty sunglasses and Hawaiian shirts for our blood.
☢ Generally, he doesn't hang around kids, but he's been occasionally known to lend a hand to @Felix Phoenix
since they lent him a violin. Which, yes, surprisingly, he plays well. It may yet be the only silver lining about him.
☢ He might
still be holding a grudge against @Mark Robby
for butchering his hair last year. Might
. Probably not though, right? I mean, he's just a stupid, evil, hair-ruining robot. He doesn't think about it all the time or anything. No. Course not.
☢ @Bud Anderson
gave him some cat
that was supposed to be, like, IDK, part of some secret plan or some such but the cat doesn't seem to do anything and Bud's never mentioned the cat again. She's an adventurous girl too, and gets out all the time
. She may in fact be meddling with some of your guys' lab results and research! Don't touch her, she's probably irradiated.
☢ Nuke it Off:
What's a little sci-fi without a little SCIENCE! Kilmore is your resident nuclear physicist, and because I learned all my science from old cold war flicks, he's a doozy of one too. We are up for any and all scientific team ups, up to an including: powering [REDACTED], poisoning [REDACTED], mutating [REDACTED], exploding [REDACTED], etc. Mostly he powers, sometimes he spills, and often he studies the aftermath of that. We can stretch a little here since we are incredibly soft sci-fi, so let's have fun with it!
☢ Guinea Pig, Guinea Pig:
As a great fan and supporter of SCIENCE! Dr. Kilmore is also more than game to help you with your individual research, and he's been known to be a little foolhardy and brave. He will be your scientific guinea pig if/whenever you need it: taste tests, virus tests, bite tests, sink tests, float tests, burn tests, drunk tests, pill tests, and bug tests, etc. The idea is to go a little Mythbusters on this. Again: let's have fun with it!
☢ By The Scheme of Your Teeth:
Honestly, Kilmore should never be left unattended. He's too guileless and
he's too dangerous--two things that should never mix! Kilmore has a hard time picking up on plots, schemes, and plans. His inability to read the writing on the wall is what landed him in this goddamn space prison to begin with. If you need someone to trick, trap, possibility manipulate, or even if you just need some fool to walk into the shot and accidentally ruin a master plan--Kilmore is a good fool for that.
☢ Under Conspiracy:
Pumping up Kilmore with cold war myths and conspiracy theories is important to his aesthetic and shtick, and I embrace just about every opportunity to recall that most
of his application and files are [GOVERNMENT CENSORED]. He could make a good G-Man Antagonist for the paranoid, the snoops, and the truth-seekers. If your character's had a run in with THE GOVERNMENT or GOVERNMENT SECRETS in the past, he can also make a good previous connection! Just let me know/hit me up!
☢ Babysitter Blues:
Kilmore's sort of a brat, he never got over being the baby brother (even after his
baby brother was born), and he doesn't typically do well with younger folk, especially young girls in their teens and twenties (his niece's age). He's condescending, pedantic, impatient, and demanding with "children." Naturally, I like to cast em in the same room as much as I can. Find some reason they HAVE to be a team. That sort of thing.
☢ Literally Anything Else You Can Think Of :)